Parallel #1: Endless

Ending on the word ‘addiction’ because there was never a choice. Beginning on the word ‘ending’ because it’s all a circle. I have constructed various possible worlds right here in my head, and no one will ever see. Curious to think that infinity lives in us collectively in this way, with new, endless fantasies being… Continue reading Parallel #1: Endless

Interlude/Desert

I spotted you soaring high above me, your black wings wide like in that stolen poem from years ago. You were looking for an exit in the sky; we’d surely tried everywhere we could reach on foot. Days, maybe weeks, wandering through the desert of the real. Every layer of meaning, sign and recognition stripped,… Continue reading Interlude/Desert

Interlude/Forest

A gunshot rings out through the trees. Run, little one. Run as fast as anyone with dust for bones can possibly run.  It hurts like no time has passed, I know. The ricochet never ended, never even reached the other side. Find the waterfall where the shadows crouch and the birds sing. It appears somewhere… Continue reading Interlude/Forest

Interlude/Limbo

I am somewhere beyond journaling. I am in the thicket, legs twisted, organs rotting. Alive yet, but covered in flies. Perhaps through their regurgitation they protect me from a greater doom that lurks beyond. Scatter me in many pieces of transformed flesh and bone so that I cannot be found easily, so that I become… Continue reading Interlude/Limbo

Journal Sequence #14: Beautiful Hailstones [I am you]

The first rule of autofiction is that no one admits they’re writing autofiction. They’ll refer to ‘my narrator’ and ‘the plot’ as though they were something other than parts of the author themselves. They are, of course, parts that are not generally accepted explorations. A narrator can indulge in solipsism but a person cannot. The… Continue reading Journal Sequence #14: Beautiful Hailstones [I am you]

Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]

CW: Self-harm, Suicide After an age, the return of Animus B in a dream. He’d taken up snowboarding. I saw him first from way up high as though in an aerial photograph taken through a frozen lens. Cracking but beautiful. Lips. He was alone, maybe for hundreds of miles. He preferred it like that, it… Continue reading Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]

Journal Sequence #12: Poetic Animus [around here]

The poetic animus appears in a dream, just out of reach. Images of elevators flash into my mind. I project them like ghosts onto the big screen. If you tell someone you’re going to do something, while subconsciously projecting animus upon them, it will almost certainly happen. “I’d kill to relieve the burden.” Ah, the… Continue reading Journal Sequence #12: Poetic Animus [around here]

The Writing and The Writing

My initial draft of anything is a series of flowing fragments. They are ideas, images, thoughts and feelings. They are connected by an overarching concept, but that would be unclear to anyone reading them at this stage. This writing is what I’m most in love with. I have never felt freer than when I am… Continue reading The Writing and The Writing

Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]

Suddenly, through the cracks in the asphalt, paving and brickwork: water. It’s raining upwards; the city is crying. Drowning me and everyone like me in its tears. My hair, my clothes, my skin: soaked. My eyelashes beaded with droplets. You can only write when you allow the world outside to slow down, because as it… Continue reading Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]