Journal Sequence #16: TV for a Head [discourse]

Tired of all this noise in language I don’t understand. I try the tongue, even carry it for a while, then realise they were never saying what I thought. Layers deep this symbolism, these insinuations. Playing a game that never existed on my home world. Long for it now. Reach for it with both hands,… Continue reading Journal Sequence #16: TV for a Head [discourse]

Parallel #6: Fade

Whatever happened to chasing rainbows? Bare-footed stumbles in the dead of night, asphalt and glass and gum. Gazing at stars and laughing till we couldn’t breathe. Exposing their lies. They never knew us. We were the only ones. Nostalgia at the end of the moon. Rows of possible suitors in indigo as deep as it… Continue reading Parallel #6: Fade

Journal Sequence #15: 99% of Him [elixir]

I Images of an upside-down world, where I am not as I appear here but only half. The other, upside-down, half is Holm built from fragments, and together we look like a playing card. Do I need to let him write? Go on, take the pen. Kammarheit. A sticky table in the bar. A pint.… Continue reading Journal Sequence #15: 99% of Him [elixir]

Parallel #5: [Dis]array / Onset

CW: Self harm Me, with fresh cuts all over both arms. Sitting calmly. Feel the pain. The connection. The flow. I didn’t understand the disease like he did. He’d lived with it far too long, knew the consequences and the natural conclusion. Put yourself out of your misery, his eyes begged. I can’t handle the… Continue reading Parallel #5: [Dis]array / Onset

Parallel #4: Widdershins

A giant spider with a girl’s head sidles up the embankment We know about her Kicking up the dust Making sculptures from time Keep the ghosts of memory close Surround yourself with images Representations of security Jaded Going backwards now Fragments and then fullness Return from the swarm of bats Widdershins Sounds so sinister But… Continue reading Parallel #4: Widdershins

Parallel #3: Subconscious Ordering

[Abandoned]Warehouses.Bins.Fears tied up with string. A song about the sea connects to my adolescence with all its sorrow and romance and shame. Connects me to pavements and ashtrays and discarded crisp packets blowing in the wind. Sand, too. Dirty sand. Bitterness abound. All the things they hide! Make me embarrassed for the things I don’t.… Continue reading Parallel #3: Subconscious Ordering

Parallel #2: Vortex

Next door’s telly and a falling plane [barometer] “Tyrone Slothrop is gonna be caught out in it, too.” Minerva now, bursting from the head Wants to know what’s going on Why the timelines are slipping and what the hormones have got to do with it Take a good gulp of water, lass Come back down… Continue reading Parallel #2: Vortex

Interlude/Bear/Thaw

Serrated teeth in the brain. Tissue melting, oozing like wax, reforming into monstrous masses of indeterminate shape. Painful stalactites that join forces to torment me into complete and final submission. The wind growls as it rolls in through the fog. I flinch, though I can imagine no greater cross than I already bear. It’s the… Continue reading Interlude/Bear/Thaw

Parallel #1: Endless

Ending on the word ‘addiction’ because there was never a choice. Beginning on the word ‘ending’ because it’s all a circle. I have constructed various possible worlds right here in my head, and no one will ever see. Curious to think that infinity lives in us collectively in this way, with new, endless fantasies being… Continue reading Parallel #1: Endless

Interlude/Desert

I spotted you soaring high above me, your black wings wide like in that stolen poem from years ago. You were looking for an exit in the sky; we’d surely tried everywhere we could reach on foot. Days, maybe weeks, wandering through the desert of the real. Every layer of meaning, sign and recognition stripped,… Continue reading Interlude/Desert