Journal Sequence #17: Chaotic Wave [Papier-mâché Devil]

I’m falling anyway. Back to the ground. Face the sky, clouds cover the sun [sin]. Black buildings morph into wobbly paint streaks. Obscure. Empty space. The reappearance of the weaver. Old scents, new memories. The feel of my brush against the canvas, my pen upon the page, steadily [frantically] creating a new reality before I… Continue reading Journal Sequence #17: Chaotic Wave [Papier-mâché Devil]

Journal Sequence #15: 99% of Him [elixir]

I Images of an upside-down world, where I am not as I appear here but only half. The other, upside-down, half is Holm built from fragments, and together we look like a playing card. Do I need to let him write? Go on, take the pen. Kammarheit. A sticky table in the bar. A pint.… Continue reading Journal Sequence #15: 99% of Him [elixir]

Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]

CW: Self-harm, Suicide After an age, the return of Animus B in a dream. He’d taken up snowboarding. I saw him first from way up high as though in an aerial photograph taken through a frozen lens. Cracking but beautiful. Lips. He was alone, maybe for hundreds of miles. He preferred it like that, it… Continue reading Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]

Journal Sequence #12: Poetic Animus [around here]

The poetic animus appears in a dream, just out of reach. Images of elevators flash into my mind. I project them like ghosts onto the big screen. If you tell someone you’re going to do something, while subconsciously projecting animus upon them, it will almost certainly happen. “I’d kill to relieve the burden.” Ah, the… Continue reading Journal Sequence #12: Poetic Animus [around here]

Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]

Suddenly, through the cracks in the asphalt, paving and brickwork: water. It’s raining upwards; the city is crying. Drowning me and everyone like me in its tears. My hair, my clothes, my skin: soaked. My eyelashes beaded with droplets. You can only write when you allow the world outside to slow down, because as it… Continue reading Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]

Journal Sequence #10: Desktop Sunshine [Exit]

Self-indulgence is a dirty word, and yet we are expected to know who we are. Is it feminine to write the personal? Tear everything up, Kafka said in his diary. And I hear him loud. Ash takes my head in his hands. He is naked. I see his tattooed arms and his slick hair. He… Continue reading Journal Sequence #10: Desktop Sunshine [Exit]

Journal Sequence #9: There are Snakes Inside [Dreamframe]

But there are snakes inside. One coils ever tighter around my heart and laughs. Another guards the rib cage, all smug. Another shoots venom into my gut. Another squeezes its head into my skull and talks to you through my mouth, my eyes. My breath, my only weapon. Exhale. Expand. Robots, the lot of them.… Continue reading Journal Sequence #9: There are Snakes Inside [Dreamframe]

Journal Sequence #8: Terrific [Runes]

The journal is the writer’s sketchbook. Document what you see, rough out whims and fantasies. Allow fragments and the poorest of punctuation. Allow any form whatsoever. Allow reality to melt into fiction. Stop thinking about how this will be perceived. There is no observer. We are only waves here. The dark-skinned lady with her bald… Continue reading Journal Sequence #8: Terrific [Runes]

Journal Sequence #7: Liminal People

What happened to all the moments in between? Surely in their darkness they hold the key to all this. Or have I truly moved from one scene to the next as though through a portal? Where do we go when we’re inside a portal? Where are we when we’re in between? We are liminal people,… Continue reading Journal Sequence #7: Liminal People

Journal Sequence #6: Intended Viewer [Stink is Gone]

I found my soul today. [Back to Land by Wooden Shjips plays] Oh, when that fog clears. It’s just… The stink is gone. The stink is GONE. Long, sharp acrylic nails painted sapphire blue. Rings on fingers, bangles on wrists. Curling, twisting, dancing. Embodying the freedom. Forwards backwards outwards inwards. And I see the fire… Continue reading Journal Sequence #6: Intended Viewer [Stink is Gone]