[Abandoned]Warehouses.Bins.Fears tied up with string. A song about the sea connects to my adolescence with all its sorrow and romance and shame. Connects me to pavements and ashtrays and discarded crisp packets blowing in the wind. Sand, too. Dirty sand. Bitterness abound. All the things they hide! Make me embarrassed for the things I don’t.… Continue reading Parallel #3: Subconscious Ordering
Tag: trauma
Interlude/Bear/Thaw
Serrated teeth in the brain. Tissue melting, oozing like wax, reforming into monstrous masses of indeterminate shape. Painful stalactites that join forces to torment me into complete and final submission. The wind growls as it rolls in through the fog. I flinch, though I can imagine no greater cross than I already bear. It’s the… Continue reading Interlude/Bear/Thaw
![Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]](https://crdudleycom.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/pine-leaves-gc485878f3_640.jpg?w=640)
Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]
CW: Self-harm, Suicide After an age, the return of Animus B in a dream. He’d taken up snowboarding. I saw him first from way up high as though in an aerial photograph taken through a frozen lens. Cracking but beautiful. Lips. He was alone, maybe for hundreds of miles. He preferred it like that, it… Continue reading Sequence #13: The Sound of Distant Drums [Limerence]
![Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]](https://crdudleycom.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/20220101_112705.jpg?w=640)
Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]
Suddenly, through the cracks in the asphalt, paving and brickwork: water. It’s raining upwards; the city is crying. Drowning me and everyone like me in its tears. My hair, my clothes, my skin: soaked. My eyelashes beaded with droplets. You can only write when you allow the world outside to slow down, because as it… Continue reading Journal Sequence #11: Remission [Appending]
Serpent
It was then that I realised he had been with me from the beginning. Slithering, serpent-like around my neck without me ever noticing. Thinking about it hurts so much I have to look away. Bury myself in dreams of ghettos and rail tracks and a hug from a leather jacket I never thought I’d see… Continue reading Serpent
Within and Without
Do you ever find pieces of insight come in clusters, like the universe or your subconscious mind are trying to teach you something? Perhaps not synchronicity exactly; more that you’ve picked up on an idea that resonates and then begin noticing it in other places. I just finished reading Passages by Ann Quin. I found… Continue reading Within and Without
C.R. Dudley 