Journal Sequence #2: A Month [Alone in the Dark]

Dual-aspect monismQuantum physicsExtreme synchronicityDepressionInternal screamingSpinozan philosophyEcstatic grinningKathy AckerManic laughterFlossingSporadic poetry compositionRiffing aphorismsForeboding in the ribcageAlone in the DarkPainting in the mindBurying nihilismTearsViolent dancingArmchair philosophyGeorges BatailleDreaming in the daytimeBleeding scabsPlatonic cravingThelemic WillPatti SmithRuminationCloud nineClaws of desperationDisappearing abyssDual-aspect monism I’m trying something out here. Looking for patterns, rhythms, connections in journaling and beauty in fragments. I’m looking… Continue reading Journal Sequence #2: A Month [Alone in the Dark]

Dreaming Motifs

In my dreams, I find motifs from the day that follows just as frequently as those from the days that have passed. It keeps me remembering that time is not quite the straight line we want it to be. I use the word motif because to me it’s the theme, the inference, of dream events… Continue reading Dreaming Motifs

Fragments Have Been On My Mind

I Fragments have been on my mind. II I’ve been re-editing my first book Fragments of Perception: a task I knew needed doing but I’d been putting off. I knew it needed doing because it was written in 2016, which is before I gained experience in editing, and I had haunted recollections of exclamation marks… Continue reading Fragments Have Been On My Mind

Books by Women

“I’ve been reading books by women,” a friend told me over coffee. This was before the lockdown, before any of us knew the terms ‘furlough’ and ‘social distancing’. I’d never given much thought to the gender of whoever’s work I was reading, but these words sparked an urgent realisation. I only ever read books by… Continue reading Books by Women

Shifting Self/Problem of Time when Writing

The self is not a stable thing. Sure, there’s a sense of continuity, but our mindset, attitude and mood are constantly shifting; so much so, they can be barely recognisable from the inside given the space of a few days. If I look to my journal, some entries are verbose, some are whimsical, some are… Continue reading Shifting Self/Problem of Time when Writing

Serpent

It was then that I realised he had been with me from the beginning. Slithering, serpent-like around my neck without me ever noticing. Thinking about it hurts so much I have to look away. Bury myself in dreams of ghettos and rail tracks and a hug from a leather jacket I never thought I’d see… Continue reading Serpent

Flash: Something About Connection

I cannot connect. I try, but… Everything going on in my head is just me and I can’t make it also you and that hurts. What I mean is, I can’t describe it [anything] in enough detail that you’ll understand. Dots, lines, purposes. Throughout my life I have tried. But I never could connect. Something… Continue reading Flash: Something About Connection

Within and Without

Do you ever find pieces of insight come in clusters, like the universe or your subconscious mind are trying to teach you something? Perhaps not synchronicity exactly; more that you’ve picked up on an idea that resonates and then begin noticing it in other places. I just finished reading Passages by Ann Quin. I found… Continue reading Within and Without

Dream Sequence #1

1.1 A knight gifts all the planets and all the stars in exchange for the life of a princess. She has been taken by an army and put under a spell, making her the size and state of a child again. The enemies break open all the planets to get the riches they believe are… Continue reading Dream Sequence #1