Author: C.R. Dudley

C.R. Dudley is author of metaphysical science fiction collections Fragments of Perception and Mind in the Gap. She is also a visual artist and mind explorer, fascinated by the human condition and the inner worlds we create. She considers every project to be part of one continuous artwork. She is also owner and editor at Orchid's Lantern press.

Cut-up Sequence #2: Remixing Mind [The Letter M]

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He hated the spectre-creating machine. It was like the other: wild, rough. It made him sick. But where there is a weapon, man will use it. Where a man hurts, he will seek. Through a tube the egos turned into colours showing their relentless and eternal state of emergency. Humans are perfect green. A green… Continue reading Cut-up Sequence #2: Remixing Mind [The Letter M]

Writing Pareidolia

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I’m fascinated by pareidolia. The way we are primed for spotting the familiar in the alien, the meaning in the senseless, the pattern in the random. The way we may or may not see the same things, like faces in froth or ponies in clouds, depending on our subjective experiences and values. Nature’s Rorschach test.… Continue reading Writing Pareidolia

Travelogue #1: Transparent Woman [Early Photographs of the Moon]

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I “If you are not able to imagine you will not be able to thrive.” Girija Kaimal But it’s [deep] midnight, and the waters are lapping at the shore. There’s moonlight. Possibly a boat, but no rescue. Calm, but not serene. Infinite, doomful wisdom. Torrential rain and howling wind, I crouch in my hut. I… Continue reading Travelogue #1: Transparent Woman [Early Photographs of the Moon]

Journal Sequence #4: Minor Fractal Loops [You Can’t Keep Doing This]

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As I writhed in a pool of tears, and blood dripped from two fresh wounds in my arm, my best friend looked me in the eye and said: you can’t keep doing this. It was the end of our friendship in the sense that our symbiosis would never be the same, but it was those… Continue reading Journal Sequence #4: Minor Fractal Loops [You Can’t Keep Doing This]

Cut-up Sequence #1: Our Hammer/Still Moving

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I’m in a metal box. It’s raining outside, maybe. No one is coming. Not ever. Sleep provides a refuge in which the mind becomes one with its [our] habitat. I must emerge in my dream because The Jewel is coming. I buzzed her in. Soon she’ll enter through my hotel window. I selected her from… Continue reading Cut-up Sequence #1: Our Hammer/Still Moving

Hybrid [Manifesto]

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1. Writing about a writer is cliché. 2. Too many novels start with a journey. 3. Dreams and flashbacks are lazy plot devices. 4. Elaborate prose presented as monologue is self-indulgent. 5. Philosophy should be hidden, not overt. 6. So fucking what. 7. You fall out of one overused trope and into another. 8. You… Continue reading Hybrid [Manifesto]

Journal Sequence #3

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Hide from the plain in the abstract. Hide from the line in the circle. Follow artistic whims. Portraits of the lost. Rich, lyrical texture. Live on the blade. Be honest with yourself. Who are you trying to please? The return of the muse. Bloodied and sick and raw and reaching. A disgusting attraction. Whatever works.… Continue reading Journal Sequence #3

Butterflies

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From some unknown corner of the house, butterflies are emerging. I’ve liberated 4 this week. Frantically they fly towards the light. Meanwhile, I’ve been in a chrysalis of my own. Turned away from the world, writhing in chaos and conflict, evolving privately. Metamorphosing. I’m reading Perdido Street Station by China Miéville (at long last –… Continue reading Butterflies

Journal Sequence #2: A Month [Alone in the Dark]

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Dual-aspect monismQuantum physicsExtreme synchronicityDepressionInternal screamingSpinozan philosophyEcstatic grinningKathy AckerManic laughterFlossingSporadic poetry compositionRiffing aphorismsForeboding in the ribcageAlone in the DarkPainting in the mindBurying nihilismTearsViolent dancingArmchair philosophyGeorges BatailleDreaming in the daytimeBleeding scabsPlatonic cravingThelemic WillPatti SmithRuminationCloud nineClaws of desperationDisappearing abyssDual-aspect monism I’m trying something out here. Looking for patterns, rhythms, connections in journaling and beauty in fragments. I’m looking… Continue reading Journal Sequence #2: A Month [Alone in the Dark]

Flash: Colour Bleeds Out/Only Birds

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Colour bleeds out, sounds wind down. Muffled, blind. Straight lines, thick and thin, washed in white and grey. It is winter here. Gentle snowflakes fall, though they strike as something sinister. Am I the only one conscious, the only one not a golem made of meat? Playing pieces for cruel gods. This pawn has slipped… Continue reading Flash: Colour Bleeds Out/Only Birds